sadness.

it can rip out your heart and crush it into millions of pieces. it can bring you down so low that your thoughts turn against you. it can make you wonder about the smallest thing in the world. it can bring tears to your eyes when you really dont want them there. it can make you feel alone in a crowd of people. it can destroy you.

those days.

the days you feel like crawling under the covers, curling in to a ball, and never coming out. the days where you get up, look at the time, and beg for more sleep. the days where you have so much to do, but you don't really want to do anything at all. the days where you just want to get away from it all. that's my everyday

molds.

all my life I have been fitted into this perfect mold. one that everyone wants to see me become. but, what if I don't want to fit into this mold? what if I want to break out and be who I really am? what would happen?

food.

it keeps us going yet holds us back. back from opportunity, success, happiness. it is repulsive yet we crave it. craving it so much that we forget what it means...

expectations.

sometimes you want to live up to them. sometimes you know you just cant seem to reach them. expectations set by you...or expectations set by others. that what you always seem to find when you look around. but the problem with expectations is that you can end up really disappointed...

decisions.

sometimes you really dont want to make them because you know they are bound to hurt someone. but not making one can hurt you too. so its your choice...hurt yourself...or hurt others.

pain.

it rips at me. tearing me to pieces. destroying me. its great to know to truth...but it hurts so much.

walls.

fear of what's behind them keeps me from tearing them down. but they need to be torn down, otherwise...people will get hurt. these walls need to be demolished, gone, obliterated.

who we are.

the choices we make shape our life,

and who we are depends on those choices as well.

but in the end all that matters is,

how we lived so those fragile moments in life.

for that is all we are.

road trips.

sometimes they are the most fun time one can ever have. but as the journey goes on and on, and the talk is less and less, the journey becomes too long. never ending. nothing as far as the eye can see. boredom soon overtakes all.

time.

we always seem to have too much or too little of it. either racing forward to catch up, or shuffling along in hopes to take some of it up. time, in reality, is never on our side. its always doing things on its own, without us controlling it.

addiction.

it eats away at you. your very soul is being beaten. desire rules your very being. addiction is a hard thing to control...a monster that destroys your defenses. it's this monster that makes it hard for you to admit your addiction. and when you do admit it, feelings that you avoided finally come crashing down. perhaps that's why hardly any of us admit we have addictions...it just hurts so much.

hiding.

she sat in the corner.

head down.

trying to hide.

to get away from it all.

only to find out,

loneliness is a crushing weight.

regrets.

they arent fun to live with. one second you are fine...the next...you have all these regrets pressing on you. they eat you up inside. chomp chomp chomp. they eat you from the inside till they find a way out. then the shame comes...the embarassment...the tears.

those days.

there are those days where you are inexplicably happy. you dont know why...only that you are so happy that nothing can ruin your day. a smile is ever present on your face. a cheerful swagger is in your walk. you greet all who pass you. you are happy.
then there are those days where you cant enjoy anything. the fake smile cant even make an apperance on your face. you eyes are a winter storm. shoulders hunched...you walk...everyone avoiding your path. you are so sad.
which day is this one?

words.

its funny how one word (or none at all) can change you. one minute you talking to someone all smiles and rainbows, and the next...there is nothing. nothing at all. then you start to wonder...

anger.

its a disease to us all. we all experience it. its hard to control and sometimes you want to let it lead you. sometimes you do. words are said, actions taken. they feel good, but really...they hurt. to you. to everyone else. nobody wins. NOBODY. anger can control us, but we can control anger. or at least do damage control.